Black bachelor battle: Should love be color blind?

Should love be color blind? That’s the battle I’ve been in with a black female friend of mine about The Bachelor.

Brittany believes that the first black Bachelor, Matt James, does not like black women, and he should choose a black woman to be his bride. It is an accusation he’s had to battle since he began filming this season’s episodes that continues tonight on ABC.

“Any time yawl can get a shot at white women, that’s the way you are going to go,” Brittany said. “He don’t like sisters, you can tell.”

She predicted that, Chelsea, the striking black woman with the close cropped hair would be among the first to go. She remains on the show and he gave her a group date rose for sharing her hair experiences with him.

“That girl has a better shot with a white guy,” Brittany barked. “You like those women with weaves and fake hair. A white guy is more likely to accept you natural.”

I pointed out that James liked a black woman named Bri and gave her the first rose.

“That’s all show,” Britt said.

Then the producers of the show brought in five new women which caused a bunch of cat fighting and bullying from the women who began the show. James took an immediate liking to newcomer Michelle, who was black.

“That was a set up,” Brittany claimed.

Bachelor executive producer Mike Fleiss received a slew of emails asking for more diversity in the show. That led to Rachel Lindsey becoming the first black female lead character and James becoming the first black male lead.

I never thought they’d find a black dude brave enough to face the backlash from black women and appear on the show. The heat from black women got so hot that James issued a statement about his preference for women.

‘“People for some reason think I don’t like Black women,” he said. “The last women I’ve dated have all been Black women. I don’t understand why that’s so hard for people to understand. People should want you to be happy, regardless of if they’re white, they’re Black, they’re Asian, whatever.

“I’ve dated all across the board.”

People should want you to be happy with whomever you pick as a mate. But that is not reality. Brittany was thrilled that Rachel Lindsay, the first black Bachelorette, chose a white guy. In fact we battled over which white guy she should choose.

The difference, Brittany explains, is that there are a shortage of eligible black men in the dating pool. Too many brothers are behind bars, too old, married or don’t have a job. So when white women pick off the few brothers left, black women get chapped.

It is OK for black women to date outside the race she said.

During a segment on a black national radio program five black dudes were asked would they pick a black woman who was a seven or a white women who was a 10. They all picked the black woman, I suspect because of back lash from black women.

I’ve run into that in life. My son Brandon came into the world with blonde curly hair and blue eyes. One of my early nicknames for B was Cupid. I was feeding him his bottle at the mall when three black women approached. One said: “You know he is with a white bitch.”

Then came the snickers and nodding heads or approval.

I ignored them. They ignored me as we sat nearby in one of those seating areas at 12 Oaks Mall. My daughter Celine, who had a little more chocolate in her complexion, came bouncing by and joined me and Brandon. Suddenly, these women wanted to be my best friends, saying how they loved seeing a black male bonding with his children. It was inspiring.

I brought up the “white bitch” comment and they denied saying it. I have not dated white bitches, but I have dated white women.

One of my dates caused a gaggle of stares and small talk while we toured the Smithsonian in Washington D.C. This white woman was a little bit crazy and approached the four black women who were making comments.

“Can I help you?” she said firmly to the women.

She got the lecture about shortage of black men and she was hogging one up. She countered that love should be color blind. Things deescalated quickly because we were more interested in learning about the culture of our country than fighting each other.

So should love be color blind? Or do you understand the plight and concerns of black women?

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Published by terryfoster8

I am a 58 year old retired sports journalist, husband and father of two living outside of Detroit in search of his next big adventure in life.

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