Austin, Tx — My daughter Celine is in this bustling city for a summer job with Facebook.
Of course my wife Abs and I had to be dorky parents and duck our heads into Celine’s work place because that is what dorky parents do. I want to announce that Celine does not work in an office. She works in a high rise amusement park.
Momma wanted to yell at her because Celine wore a Texas Facebook t-shirt and bootie shorts when she got off the elevator to greet us and escort us upstairs. I told Abs to back off because the girl that got off the elevator with Celine was wearing even less.
Let’s start with the food. I counted four cafeterias, which sounds about right because they feed their employees three square meals a day for free. I wanted to ask how come everybody is so skinny and does not weigh 800 pounds each.
I saw why when Celine grabbed a bag of sea weed chips. They looked as disgusting as they sound. If my chips are not made of potato and drenched in grease I don’t touch them.
Celine assured us that beside the salads and seaweed chips that Facebook provides well balanced meals of hamburgers, fries, pizza, pasta and fancy dishes that I can neither spell or pronounce.
When I first started working I got 30 minutes for lunch. Celine’s lunch break is “whenever” or whenever you finish eating and feel like going back to work.
Next we went to an area that appeared to be set up for pillow fights and fun time. It was the employee lounge.
A high school basketball player had to duck down to enter my first office for an interview at the Freep. The ceilings at Facebook are so high that you could play a full court game of basketball.
Employees are encouraged to write their feelings or a smart ass quip on a giant wall. If I wrote on the wall at work I would be suspended for two days and be forced to spend five minutes in the penalty box also known as the smelly men’s bathroom. Celine gets a pat on the back and a promotion.
So where is Celine’s desk? She went to another large screen that had a lay out of the office. She typed in her name and a light lit up locating her desk. Fancy.
And about that desk. As usual Celine’s desk was full of mess but it was so large that the mess looked kind of cool. You could fit a family of four underneath the desk. Mom and dad must have been hunting for seaweed chips because I only saw a boy and girl under Celine’s desk.
My first desk at the Detroit Free Press looked like a military desk from the Gomer Pyle Show. Later when I moved to the Detroit News they gave us desk from World War II. But that was still a step up from my first desk at 971 The Ticket.
We sat behind something from Game of Thrones.
So is Celine’s first work place better than dad’s?
Except for the seaweed chips.